What is Monogamy?
Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater. We were taught to associate cheating with lying and deceiving others, in attempt to get the upper hand. We cheat on test, we cheat on our diets, and we cheat on our significant others. We get cheated on. If everyone is a cheater why do, we force ourselves into monogamy?
We all have our own definition of monogamy. So let me provide you with Google’s expertise. Monogamy is the practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner. Therefore, on Google’s account you’ve only cheated or been cheated on when sex has taken place. However, you and I both know that’s not a valid argument when presenting your case to your significant other and her FBI agent friends.
Have some dirty laundry of your own or a question you would like to ask. Send me a message here or DM me on IG @hallenoberri .
Who is Monogamy For?
In life we often gravitate towards people and practices that provide us with a sense of comfort. Monogamy has that ability. Being in a monogamous relationship provides us with a daily reminder that our partner chose us and only us. That y’all belong to each other and no one else. There is no competition for love and affection when monogamy is at play. Only having one committed sexual partner decreases your likelihood of catching and spreading sexually transmitted diseases (no matter the commitment practice you should still get tested regularly). Knowing that your partner gets off exactly at 5pm and will come home and enjoy a glass of wine which is followed by your usual routine sex brings partners a sense of emotional and physical comfort. Knowing what triggers your partner and their ability to comfort you with a hug that feels like home brings you peace.
But can you answer me this: Can there be comfort in spontaneity and the unknown? Afterall one of the reasons cheating takes place is because they find their spouse “boring”? Reports show 57% of marriages end in divorce due to infidelity.
Monogamy is Overrated
Why can’t you have your cake and eat it too? Afterall isn’t that why they invented forks. Some call it swinging, others call it climbing the pineapple tree. Formally it is known as polygamy. Polygamy is having one or more mate, that is according to Google. It is often taken as excuse for men to have sex with more than one person. However, studies and my own personal life shows that it is becoming the woman who is choosing polygamy rather than the man in the relationship. That doesn’t mean the relationship is one sided depending on who made the decision. Polygamy is just like monogamous relationships. There are rules and boundaries set by the partners. Polygamy isn’t a free for all and excuse to sleep around. However, it does allow both partners in the relationship to express their selves sexually and emotionally with more than one person.
I leave you with this question: Do you believe we have the ability to love more than one person at a time equally?